TO MY FUTURE WIFE.

To my future wife;

My sweetie, I’ve been thinking about you and me – us; as the Christmas and New Year holidays draw near. I see my cousins, with their significant others, and I yearn that for myself, just once. No. Not once but at least, daily. For a life time. I doubt that will ever happen but I have hope that it will happen. I feel as if with each passing year I fall farther away from you. Perhaps, I might never find you my rib. Day and night, I wonder where God ‘threw’ my rib. You know?

At times, I think you are nonexistent. Yeah, I don’t believe you exist. There is this void in me that you are meant to fill. Yeah for you to occupy and make your abode.  Because you are meant to fill me, are you not? To make me whole. Full. Wholesome. At least that is what I see from my parents. I was born for you and you for me. I am because you are; in my fantasy! Why can I not find you? Why am I so alone? Or is my search in all the wrong places? Perhaps you are so near while I make my search so far!

Do you ever think of me? I mean, do I ever cross you r mind? That makes me think of Dolly Parton. Ok, do you have me in your mind? Or even dream of me? I muse in my thoughts of how you think of me. What I will look like; what my stance on life is. Do you wish you knew me now, at this moment? Do you wish we were together? Are you lonely? Like me? Or are you not yet born? After all, I know that the beautiful ones are not yet born.

I am set to welcome you, but I am not sure on how to do it. I am ready but again, not so ready for you. I am sure of myself but again, not so sure. I am courageous for you but again, I really fear. Yeah. I fear the future. The future that includes finding you.

Perhaps my world is to be my own – single and all alone. The lone ranger while my closest friends walk in twos.  I’m of the establishment of thought that possibly you aren’t designed for me, that I am not intended to have you or know you. Or us live together and share our lives together.

How am I to go on single-handedly in love when I have perpetually been told I am to wait for you or; search for you? You see, I have sought in every nook nick and cranny. Again, perhaps I have not sought too hard. Or diligently. Do not mistake me as one with a series of heartbreaks. No.  So where does that leave me, then? Not whole or less of a man?

I wonder, you woman, do you really exist? If not, who am I without you?  A man who cannot find you? What’s left for me without you?

You tell me.

How did all this come about? With the insatiable yearning and longing for you?

I picture myself being with you. Treating you right, walking with you in utter delight, showing all and sundry that we are smothered in love. Ever heard of PDAs? Public Display of Affection? Yeah that one. Perhaps we could try doing that too! But because I‘m afraid of what I would become were I to find you now, though I would love to be with you, to call you, to talk to you and to have you and to call you mine.

Perhaps, I should banish that thought from my mind. The thought of love and being loved. But life goes on lady. It goes on without you. It goes on in a limping gait till I find you. When I find you, I will hopefully walk with an upright gait.

Again, it has been far too long being single.  In the meantime, I am going to commence hoping for other things. Things like happiness, change, for new friends, new places, for opportunities after all aluta continua.

After all, I love myself. Charity begins at home. I am my home! For now!

MAYBE SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN

When all my hopes and dreams

Is nowhere to be found,

When I feel bound, when

I cry and feel like giving up,

When my heart is broken

When my strength seems taken.

When I feel like saying I can’t.

I beat my heart so hard,

When things are so bad.

When I’m downhearted, so low

When troubles on my way flow,

I tell my heart to move on.

I tell myself I know I can

Even when I know I can’t

Maybe something WILL happen...

                                  By CHEROP NGENO PARKLEA.

This is a piece by my sister and I thought of putting it up as she knows not what a blog is.

My dinner date stood me!

There is this day that is stuck in my mind. January 2006 found me in a state of quagmire over this petite lady who made my juvenile hormones go on an over drive. This was made worse by the constant prodding and prompting by friends who were privy of my hormone induced crush. This was one of my first publicly known crush. This young girl had a way of walking that spurred my brain onto conjuring day time dreams and frantic building of airborne castles. Her quick strides were all my mind longed to see. Don’t get me wrong, am not infested with voyeurism or such like bugs. She had these pair of smoky eyes that seemed neither here nor there. They seemed to dart furtively whenever our eyes met. She had this sharp pointed chin that made her streamlined in all aspects visual. Her hair was neither short nor long. I even fell in love with her shoes. Can you imagine??

I would serenade her with chits that were written and passed to her on dull afternoons when classroom concentration was at its lowest ebb. These were passed to her via hand couriers and in these chits, the best of my English were found. All through that, I don’t recall her sending me any. Hmmm! All this while, she was in the same class I was in but in a different stream and that made matters more scintillating.

Then the school was suddenly abuzz with talks of an upcoming dinner in a campus.it was the much anticipated Get Together. As was the norm, everyone was to get a dinner date. In this school, dinners and dates were part and parcel. A dinner without a date was akin to bathing without soap! All and sundry were in a discreet frenzy in an attempt to woo a date for the said function. I asked my crush if she would be my date and she neither gave a yes nor a no. Girls!!
Fast forward to the said day of the dinner and there I was, son of the soil; clad in a borrowed suit, inflated confidence, shiny shoes and clammy palms, anxious for my said date. I sought for her high and low wand later found out that she was in seclusion. The reason for her Houdini act was unknown to me. At least, at that time.

I then went out on seeking mission. I looked for her high and low for her almost chocking in the perfumed filled air and amongst the myriad of dinner dates lost in blissful romance. I spotted her in the sea of humanity, standing by a palm tree hidden in its fronds. As gentlemanly as I could be, held by her hand and led (almost forcefully) her to our table. You see, all I cared for was a dinner date. At the table were four other friends. Two ‘single’ girls and a couple. These two ‘single’ girls (with no dates) conversed with my date in a hushed manner and soon, there was the stink of a dead rat in the air. I was suspicious that something was amiss.

A glance at my date confirmed my suspicion for I could see her wiping a tear at the corner of her eye. You see, I hate making a lady shed a tear, whether crocodile or real tears. I only stand tears of happiness. On asking her what the problem was, she stood up and melted into the darkness in a huff. I was left aghast and felt helpless. Apparently, she had accepted to be another guy’s dinner date and I had ‘hijacked’ her. My friends gave me that ‘aki woiye’ kind of look while I ate my dinner turned murram in a huff. You can guess how I felt. In the next weeks preceding that, I was the topic of the school. The guy who got stood by his date; and after that, we were never that close again. You know.

Three years later, we became friends on Facebook but she went on to ‘unfriend’ me. L

True story.

Haki woshe.

 

OF LOVE IN UNLIKELY QUARTERS.

OF LOVE IN UNLIKELY QUARTERS.

S

weetie, sweet pie, cupcake honey,

And all the diabetes causing sweet words.

We are even herbal, calling each other,

Sugarcane, sweet Irish potatoes,

Sweet bananas not forgotten.

 

S

oon, countless hours are lost together in blissful chat.

Staring with into computer screens,

Perhaps looking for a clue whether we have a tomorrow together.

 

I

n no time, we were inundating each with serenades.

I call her honey, she calls me sweetie.

I call her my queen and to her,

Her King I become.

 

M

y fingers, aptly type my hearts feelings,

As I wait for her popping messages, my thoughts swirl and twirl,

Myriad questions fill my mind.

Have I struck gold or pay dirt?

I

don’t know what the future holds,

is this an emotional phantasmagoria?

I mean is this a heart based illusion?

Or a diffusion of emotion via social networks?

 

T

he genesis of this is Facebook.

I call it Farcebook.

Is this a farce?

 

D

on’t get my view as askew.

If I were to ask you,

What would you do?

As for me, am in it, for it, for you!

Yea! For you; my mukwanoà J. E. A!

ON NOT GIVING UP.

I say on Sunday how much I want revival

But then on Monday, I can’t even find my Bible

Where is the power of the Cross in my life?

 

I’m sick of playing games of religion

I’m tired of losing my reason of living

Where is the power of the Cross in my life?

 

I’m not content just to walk through my life,

Giving in to the lies, walking in compromises now.

 

The above is an excerpt from a song that’s been on my mental replay. As a Christian, have you ever lost your reason for living? Lost your reason for believing? Has life been akin to pushing against a brick wall? Or perhaps caught between a granite rock and a hard place?

In Joshua 1:9 He asks us; have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, do not be dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Do not be afraid because He is our light and we live by faith and not by sight as Hebrews 10: 38 tell us that the just shall live by faith and not by sight. Many times we tend to let go of our focus due to the numerous pressures that we face in day to day life.

Have you at one point in life lost your reason for living? Well, you aren’t alone because old Job in the Bible thought of the same too. As believers, we should not be content to walk through life and giving in to lies and walking in paths that compromise our faith but; let us strive to be the salt of the world as we know that we are the salt of the earth: Matt 5:13

After all, we are told that it is because we are not of them who draw back unto damnation; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul. Hebrews 10:39

 

Whatever the circumstance, do not give up on God for He never gave up on you and he will never, never give up on you.
Keep on keeping on!

 The video and lyrics to the above is this.

I am that guy who is at odds trying to decipher the female specie of the human race. Yeah I am lost as to why they always cry foul with the same bland reason that all men are the same. Perhaps, those that do so are the Jack of all trades. (Men.)

I am that guy who retreats at a lady’s first sign of emotional attachment. Don’t you mistake me for a wimp; no, I came to planet earth with a stoic heart.

I am that guy that knows how to charm his way into a lady’s heart but then again, I am that guy who refrains from being prematurely bogged down by the female specie. As long as I can charm my way in, I could as well charm my way out!

I am that guy who doesn’t waste his valuable wake time fretting over the female’s nitty gritty issues and concerns of what to dress. Well, as for me, I care not but don’t you mistake me for one with reckless abandon. I am not careless but call my style; the laid back style.

I am that guy who values decorum and etiquette when it comes to family life and conducts. Call me old fashioned but what I know is that every nook, nick and cranny of my being ascribes to the school of thought that our (yes! Our) female folk are called to serve while I lead.

I am that guy who frantically tries to understand the female folk. Why are they so keen on the different shades of colour? Thing like hazel blue, sky blue, baby blue, (are our African babies blue?) aqua blue bla! Bla! Eish! Blue is blue as far as I know!

I am that guy trying to understand why the female folk’s spout of tears is just a sniff away. Are the tears a ploy or tact to hold a man hostage? Huh?

 I am that guy on the search for the perfect elixir to understanding the female gender. Don’t mistake me. I have enough women folk at home to case study but at the moment, no breakthrough yet. After all, my ‘mzee’ is still figuring it out from my ‘mathe’!