Mind your Grammar.

Grammar /ˈgramər/ a : the study of the classes of words, their inflections, and their functions and relations in the sentence (merriam-webster.com) b : The study of how words and their component parts combine to form sentences (the free dictionary.com). 

While working at the office, I’ve come to realize that there are far worse things that could happen among colleagues than getting stabbed in the back…like getting stabbed in the ear!  So far, my eardrums have suffered severe scarring from grammatical misfires (which unfortunately have now been widely accepted in parts around here as friendly fire). I can recall numerous instances when this colleague of mine would answer the phone with a question, you are who? A direct translation from Swahili, Wewe ni nani? Whatever happened to, ‘who am I speaking to? It happens every single time… You are who?

Again, I’ve also observed that the word ‘lend’ is fast going into extinction. Co-workers have often come up to me to ask for an item of mine and they’d make requests like, ‘Please borrow me your pen.’ Or, ‘Help me your pen’. Like really?? We need to establish who is who here: You, the borrower, want to borrow while I, the lender, may or may not want to lend to you. Therefore the borrower could say, ‘Could you lend me your pen’ or ‘Could I borrow your pen?’ I think that sounds far more appealing to the ears, don’t you? Even more disturbing is the remark I asking a question…Kwani. Case in sentence, Kwani where is my pen? Who is this Kwani? Kwani you don’t know? Kwani!?

Some people have taken their lazy linguistics too far. I could be standing by the door and then I hear a ‘Skyuz,’ that being Excuse. When I turned to look at the seemingly rude staff member (with him thinking that he must have been rude) he then said, ‘Please, excuse.’  Excuse who for God’s sake??? Couldn’t he just say ‘Please excuse me.’ like the educated human being he’s supposed to be? If you think that’s baffling then what about the catchphrase used when someone is surprised, HAIYA. If you haven’t guessed it already, this expression was generated from Swahili.

Sometimes I find myself about to utter some of these blunders because my ears and brain are constantly subjected to them – a classic case of ‘If you can’t beat them, join them’. But I refuse to give in. It’s not enough that you know what that person is trying to say but if we don’t start to correct them then these verbal blunders become the norm and will be passed from one generation to the next. If you have any common grammatical errors you’re bombarded with often then please share or compare.
Haiya! Kwani?

The Five Love Languages.

Well, I think it’s time to compile some information on Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. As I spend time in my own world, lost to my thoughts, I seem to always stumble upon threads where love birds are trying to pin down traits as something that they would call signs or rather, languages of love. In many of these circumstances, I feel like relationship questions can better be addressed by understanding the Five Love Languages.

Most of us grow up learning the language of our parents, which becomes our native tongue which in my case is Kalenjin. Later we may learn additional languages, but usually with much more effort. In the area of love, it’s similar. Your emotional love language and that of your spouse or lover may be as different as Swahili from English – no matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse only understands Swahili, you’ll never understand how to love each other.

Seldom do a husband and wife have the same primary love language. We tend to speak our primary love language and become confused when our spouse doesn't understand what we’re communicating. Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, you’ll have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving marriage.
You can discover your own love language by asking yourself these questions:

❤ How do I express love to others?
❤ What do I complain about the most?
❤ What do I request most often?

Speaking in your another person’s love language probably won't be natural for you. After all, we're not talking comfort. We're talking love. Love baby! Love is something we do for someone else.

The Five Love Languages

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward, heart racing to oblivion, sweaty palms included. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
These are encouraging words that inspire courage after all, all of us have areas in which we feel insecure. We lack courage, which often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things that we would like to do. That potential may be awaiting encouraging words from you or from him.

Quality Time
in the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. This includes quality conversation listening with a view to understanding the other person’s desires, fears and thoughts.

Gifts
I must say that this is the ngumu –hard one for me. the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.

It triggers thoughts of look, he was thinking of me, or, she remembered me. Ehh Banange! (Say it with lots of ‘Ugandanness’) A gift is a symbol of that thought. Gifts come in all sizes, colours and shapes. Some are expensive and others are free. To the individual whose primary love language is receiving gifts, the cost will matter little.

Acts of Service
This is my best! If I could get my shoes polished, dinner cooked, laundry done, the list is endless!  Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes to me. The words “Let me do that for you.” Just does it for me.
People who speak this love language seek to please their partners by serving them; to express their love for them by doing things for them. Actions such as cooking a meal, setting a table and washing the dishes are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love. I’m not saying become a doormat to your partner and do these things out of guilt or resentment. No person should ever be a doormat. Do these things as a lover.

Physical Touch
Another favourite of mine! Only that I have never done it in actual sense but just imagine…touch…It conjures thoughts of untold Proportions!!!! Again, this language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.
Holding hands, kissing, hugging and all those forms of PDAs –Public Displays of Affection are lifelines for the person for whom physical touch is the primary love language. With it, they feel secure in their partner’s love. “Love touches” don’t take much time, but they do require a little thought, especially if this isn’t your primary love language or you didn’t grow up in a “touching” family.