Mind your Grammar.

Grammar /ˈgramər/ a : the study of the classes of words, their inflections, and their functions and relations in the sentence (merriam-webster.com) b : The study of how words and their component parts combine to form sentences (the free dictionary.com). 

While working at the office, I’ve come to realize that there are far worse things that could happen among colleagues than getting stabbed in the back…like getting stabbed in the ear!  So far, my eardrums have suffered severe scarring from grammatical misfires (which unfortunately have now been widely accepted in parts around here as friendly fire). I can recall numerous instances when this colleague of mine would answer the phone with a question, you are who? A direct translation from Swahili, Wewe ni nani? Whatever happened to, ‘who am I speaking to? It happens every single time… You are who?

Again, I’ve also observed that the word ‘lend’ is fast going into extinction. Co-workers have often come up to me to ask for an item of mine and they’d make requests like, ‘Please borrow me your pen.’ Or, ‘Help me your pen’. Like really?? We need to establish who is who here: You, the borrower, want to borrow while I, the lender, may or may not want to lend to you. Therefore the borrower could say, ‘Could you lend me your pen’ or ‘Could I borrow your pen?’ I think that sounds far more appealing to the ears, don’t you? Even more disturbing is the remark I asking a question…Kwani. Case in sentence, Kwani where is my pen? Who is this Kwani? Kwani you don’t know? Kwani!?

Some people have taken their lazy linguistics too far. I could be standing by the door and then I hear a ‘Skyuz,’ that being Excuse. When I turned to look at the seemingly rude staff member (with him thinking that he must have been rude) he then said, ‘Please, excuse.’  Excuse who for God’s sake??? Couldn’t he just say ‘Please excuse me.’ like the educated human being he’s supposed to be? If you think that’s baffling then what about the catchphrase used when someone is surprised, HAIYA. If you haven’t guessed it already, this expression was generated from Swahili.

Sometimes I find myself about to utter some of these blunders because my ears and brain are constantly subjected to them – a classic case of ‘If you can’t beat them, join them’. But I refuse to give in. It’s not enough that you know what that person is trying to say but if we don’t start to correct them then these verbal blunders become the norm and will be passed from one generation to the next. If you have any common grammatical errors you’re bombarded with often then please share or compare.
Haiya! Kwani?